Supernatural: Something About Dogs…and Witchcraft

The episode starts with a hooker walking down the street. A cop arrests her, and then in a cute twist, doesn’t Mirandize her. He just chokes the living shit out of her. And surprise! He chokes her so hard he practically decapitates her, and we get our signature Supernatural blood splatter. On his face. Ick. Wait! Turns out it was just a nightmare. The cop wakes up, and just goes about his coffee making business as if he didn’t just dream about murdering some streetwalker. Ok then. He throws something away, and finds a blood soaked handkerchief in the trash. Ok. So…not a dream then?

We get to see my handsome boobears, and they’re arguing about whom the cooler Stooge was. Dean insists that Sam is lame, because it’s clearly Curly. Sam argues that Curly was too obvious, and that Chimp was the best one. I’m confused, because although I’ve never watched it and never will, I thought the Three Stooges were Curly, Moe, and Larry…Fuck, I don’t care. Never mind. They are in town to help one of their friends, James, who is a cop. You guessed it, the cop who maybe dream killed a lady of the night.

While Dean is out, someone knocks on the hotel door. Sam opens it, and there’s a Doberman pinscher sitting there. It runs in and jumps on the bed. Sam pets it a little, while looking for its tags on its red collar. He hears the rumble of the Impala and looks alarmed. He meets Dean at the door and tells him it’s not his fault, that she just ran in and jumped on the bed, and just wanted a rub on her tummy. He asked if maybe she could stay for just one night, and then in the morning they could help her find her home. Dean peeks in the room, and there’s a beautiful woman sitting on the bed, with a red collar around her neck. Of course he says she can stay.

Sam is like, she was a dog two seconds ago, and pulls his knife out quicker than you can say “Hey bitch!”. She tells them to cool their jets, she’s not a shifter, she’s a familiar. According to Sam, some witches have companions that split their time between being humans and animals. She claims to be James’ familiar. The boys are shocked, because James isn’t a witch. She explains that after their last case, he became obsessed with researching the dark arts and he’s now a powerful witch.

Dean is shocked that James became a witch because of them. She tells him to deal with it, because James needs their help. He’s been having horrible migraines, and terrible nightmares. When Dean tells her they don’t like witches very much, she’s like, Oh really. She gets in his face and defends James, and Dean’s like that was super hot. She looks at Sam with an are you fucking kidding me with this look, but Sam’s like, Yeah, it was pretty hot.

Next, we see a bar that is clearly a witch joint, because all the patrons are openly using it. James is sitting at a table getting his drunk on, and can I just point out, that he is incredibly hot. I love the CW. They hire the hottest guys, especially for Supernatural. Yum. Anyway, he’s joined by-Good Gracious!-another hot guy, Spencer. His friend tells him to slow down with the drinking and asks him if things are getting better.

He tells James that he’s riding a dangerous line, because he can’t be both a cop and a witch. James admits that Portia (his familiar) left him because he was driving her away.

Portia tells Dean and Sam that familiars can communicate telepathically, but that James has blocked her from his mind. He is scared he’s killing people, but doesn’t remember doing it. Dean warns her that they aren’t exactly the kind of people James should want helping him, because he’s what they hunt. Portia admits it was her idea, because James doesn’t have anyone else but he needs help.

We flash to James having another killing dream. Then we hear James and Portia arguing about her involving Sam and Dean. She storms off in doggy form, and James comes to ask Dean and Sam if they are going to help. He describes what is happening to him, and Dean says they will try to figure it out. In the meantime, James needs to stay put so they can make sure he’s not killing people, so they chain him up.

While Sam and Dean are talking about what to do, Dean keeps making these veiled references to the trials. Finally, Sam calls Dean out, and asks him why he doesn’t believe in him. He insists he can do the trials, and it’s obvious that he’s hurt that Dean doesn’t believe in him. It’s really sad, because after last week’s beautiful speech, I was hoping that Dean could trust Sammy do this. Dean didn’t say anything, and Sam told him that he figured it out. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Sam, it was that he only trusted himself. They change the subject, and Dean tells Sam that if the witch-killing spell works, they will have to use it on James if it is proven that he’s actually killing those people.

Sam goes to investigate the crimes and finds out that there was a witness that the leading detective left out of his report. Meanwhile, Dean goes to the witch bar with Portia to ask about James. Dean calls Portia his pet, and she gets pissed. She says that familiars have a melding of souls, and the bond is unbreakable. She leads him over to someone who clearly looks gay, if the eyefuck he gives Dean is any indication. Portia claims Dean is a Wiccan, and they question him. He implies that what Portia is doing isn’t done, and that people don’t like James because he’s a cop. Dean keeps sneezing, but can’t understand it because that only happens around cats. Spencer comes up, and asks about him. Spencer leaves, and tells the other guy its time to go. The guy leans forward and smiles at Dean, before slowly changing into his familiar form, a cat!

That night, Portia is chaining up James, and she’s wearing sexy lingerie. Um, I think I’ve figured out what James and Portia are doing that’s “not done”. The sex. Sure enough, after she chains him up, she totally jumped his bones. Kinky. While they’re being intimate, she gets a vision of him committing all the murders. Talk about putting a damper on things. Sam and Dean arrive planning to murder the bejesus out of James, but Portia stops them and tells them it wasn’t James. After explaining that she can see his memories of killing people but not the thought process, motive, anticipation, or anything else indicative of knowledge of the crimes, Sam and Dean decide to give him another chance. Sam goes back to the police department to question the sketchy lead detective. He’s being super fishy, and clearly withholding information. Meanwhile, Dean and Portia meet up with one of James’ snitches to try and get info. While they’re waiting, my one-track-minded baby cake asks Portia whether she was a dog or a human first. Because hello bestiality! She smirks and ignores him when the snitch shows up. The snitch tells them that word on the street is James is killing people and the witches are getting antsy. They’re giving him 2 days to either leave town or kill himself.

At the hotel, Dean finds a spell that can put false memories into another witch’s head. They tell James, and he astral projects them to the police department to look what the sketchy detective is hiding. Turns out he’s building an incredibly strong case against James, based off evidence and a witness statement from Phillipe. Phillipe being Spencer’s kitty familiar, btdubs.

James goes all Harry Potter on Sam and Dean and “Stupify!”’s there asses across the room. My boo fell on a garage can, and it was an incredibly awkward landing, which makes me think maybe it was an accident that they just left in. LOL.

He goes to confront Phillipe and is all crazy strong, but Phillipe tells him he had no choice. He was ordered by his master to do those things. As they’re talking, Phillipe’s neck is snapped by an offscreen Spencer.

Spencer admits that he did all those things because he hates James. Portia chose James over him, and to add insult to injury, they fell in love. James tries to attack him, but Spencer pulls a Voldemort and is way more powerful. While Voldy and Harry battle it out, Sam and Dean join the fray. But Spencer immediately incapacitates them with horrible memories of their lives, like Dean being in hell, and his mom dying. Sam sees himself falling into the pit, and being tortured in the by the Devil.

Portia charges in Doberman Pinscher style, and attacks Spencer. His hold is broken, and Sam and Dean quickly cast the witch-killing spell, and it works. He’s liquefied, which is hella gross.

Portia and James decide to get the hell out of dodge, since the case being built against him is insanely good.

Sam and Dean are driving away, and Dean finally admits to Sam that after reliving all the horrible things they’ve gone through, he’s realized that they only got through them by sticking together. He tells Sammy that he does trust him, and if he tells him that he’s good, then Dean will stand behind him 100%. Sam looks moved, but then he starts coughing randomly. Suddenly, he coughs up blood. Oh no! He hides it from Dean, and tells him that he’s good. Damn it. I knew it was too good to be true. These damn trials are going to kill Sammy, and he’s going to hide it from Dean because he needs Dean to believe in him.

Well, whatever comes, I can’t freaking wait. This is my all time favorite show, and next week’s episode looks fabulous!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: