Live blogging! Here I go! (Or not. I got so into, I’m actually a couple hours behind…whatevs)
So my boo is chasing some scummy drug dealer, obvsies. This guy is running for his life, and Arrow is literally just hopping along behind him on the roof. Bad ass. The guy, for some reason that makes no sense to me, decides his best bet to escape is to climb up, like a crane. Because that makes perfect sense. As he jumps up, my boo shoots him in the sleeve. That’s pretty awesome. After getting the info he needed, Arrow leaves the dude just hanging there. Those are some massively strong arrows, because that guy is just swinging like a damn monkey. Come to think of it, the leather on his jacket must be hella strong too, because it didn’t rip, it just holds his weight, no problem. I need to know where he shops…
Anyway, Oliver goes to his Hero Cave, and tells Dig that the guy he’s looking for is the Count. He’s about to head back out, when Dig reminds him that Thea has to be in court in a few hours and she needs her brother.
At Thea’s arraignment, the judge decides to make an example out of her, and tells her there will be no plea bargains considered. What a douche. Also, I’m not so sure that you’re supposed to admit that you are making your decision based on the need to make an example of her. Seems kinda shady. Eh, what do I know?
Thea is still being fairly bratty, because she believes her mom’s an unfaithful whore. Nope, just a treacherous, shady betch. But that will come out eventually. Knowing my Olliepop, he’ll figure it out soon.
Meanwhile, Oliver goes to see an old friend, a pretty Vice cop, for help with his sister’s problem. She tells him they’re looking for the Count, but won’t give him much info. She’s super pretty and she gives him the sex eyes. Oh, she wants it. I don’t blame her.
Laurel & Tommy are boring, so I will not discuss them, except to say that Oliver goes to see Laurel and asks her for help with the judge on Thea’s behalf.
Oliver goes to see the Russians to set up a meet with the Count. They tell him that they will help if he proves his loyalty to them, by killing a man. Oliver doesn’t hesitate and grabs the man in a choke hold and strangles him to death. Holy shit. Um…I don’t know what this says about me as a person, but that was hella hot. The whole ruthless, powerful killer vibe really works for me. At least in theory. Psychos reading this blog, please do not see this as an invitation. Unless you look like Oliver. Or Sam and Dean from Supernatural. Or Vincent from Beauty and the Beast. Or…I should stop now. We got a bit off track. Anyway, Oliver isn’t a murdered. He probably injected him with something that stops the heart, or some super spy move like that.
Anyway, Dig is shocked and disgusted, but really, who cares what he thinks? The Russians check the guy’s pulse and he’s super dead so they set up a meet for my Olliepop. Dig and Ollie carry the body out, and throw it in the trunk. Dig is pissed but Oliver just rolls his eyes and touches a place on the dead guys neck and he wakes up. Oliver quickly knocks him the fuck out, and gives Dig the “You’re an idiot” eye. Agreed! How could he have doubted my baby? Also, this doesn’t take away from his sexy, ruthless vibe. It just makes him hotter.
Back at their house (more like castle!), Laurel was able to work out a deal with the judge. 500 hours of community service, 2 yrs probation under Laurel’s supervision, and Thea can avoid jail time. Thea is again, a real brat and turns down the offer. Oliver gets mad, and Thea admits that she wants to ruin their mother’s life. She’s a cheating, unfaithful bitch. Oliver finally tells her the truth about their dad being the cheater. Moira overhears and gets pissed at Oliver. Ollie insists that Thea was old enough to know the truth.
We get a glimpse of the Count. He’s pretty fucking crazy. Kinda cute. Hmm, I might need help. Anyway, he has the guy who told Oliver his name, and injects him with Vertigo, the drug Thea tripped out on. Those drugs are crazy because the Count suggests that the guy kill himself and he totally does. Yikes.
Oliver gets notice from the Russians that the meet is set, and heads out with Diggle. Their plan is for Oliver to go as himself to “make a drug deal” and then follow them back to their headquarters. He’s such a smartie. They meet up and make the deal with the Count. Suddenly, the cops show up and bust them. There’s a shootout, and Oliver and Dig take cover. Oliver chases after the Count, who stops him with a couple of needles in his chest, and pumps him full of Vertigo. Noooooooo!!!! Luckily, Dig is there and gets him to safety. Oliver’s cop friend and Laurel’s annoying ass cop dad are there, but thankfully don’t spot Oliver.
Dig gets Oliver to his Hero Cave and mixes up a save-my-baby brew and gives it to my poor Olliepop. Ollie tries to choke him out first, but Dig manages to break the hold. Even half dead my baby is a beast. Love!
The next day, Ollie wakes up and is kind of a mess. Dig has him cuffed to the table. Dirty thoughts, dirty thoughts!!! He frees Ollie, and they take the needles that the Count shot Oliver up with to Queen Enterprises (I have no idea if that’s what it’s really called but go with it). Ollie takes it to Ellie and asks her to look into it. He makes up a really horrible, lame lie about it, how its an energy drink, but he’s careful what he puts into his body. Ellie’s like “I noticed.” Me too, girlfriend. Me too. Actually, I still think Ellie and Ollie are adorable together. Team Ollie! Team Eliver! Team Olivellie! Ok, I’ll work on it.
Oliver is still clearly feeling the effects of the drugs, because he’s bobbing and weaving. He keeps having flashbacks of his time on Scoobydoo Island. OllieFred (He looks like Fred from Scoobydoo in these damn flashbacks. Hurts my feelings to see such a hottie look so crazy) is in jail, and pissed that his friend betrayed him. Suddenly, his friend frees him only to take him to a freaking island MMA match. The double masked man is there, and kicks his opponents ass, and then kills him. Fun. OllieFred’s treacherous bud shoves him into the “ring” and proceeds to give him the mollywhopping of his life. After, he puts him in a hold and kills him! The Oliver hold! That’s where he learned it! Obvsies, my boo bear isn’t dead, but everyone thinks that he is. They take his body to a cliff, and his not so treacherous friend does the neck touch, slips a map into his pocket, and tosses him off the cliff and into a beautiful waterfall. How sweet of him. Oliver wakes up and finding the map, hauls ass out of there to the place on the map marked survival. Cool.
Back at his castle, Oliver finds his mom with the police. Laurel’s stupid father and Ollie’s pretty cop galpal are there because they busted a drug deal between the Russian mob and the Count, and eyewitnesses spotted Oliver there. Oliver denies it, but that damn cop galpal is the eyewitness. Treachery! Oliver quickly explains that he was trying to make contact so that he could tell the police who it was and help Thea. They let him go, and his backstabby friend tells him she’s sorry, and hope he doesn’t think she betrayed him. You did, you betch! Oliver understands she was just doing her job. Me, not so much. I don’t forget, betch. I’ve got my eye on you.
Oliver’s mom is pissed that he took such a risk, but he calls her on the reason she’s really upset; he told Thea the truth. She admits it and yells at him. Thea walks in and tells her that Oliver was right to tell her. They talk and make up, blah blah blah. My baby starts to go upstairs, but that damn Vertigo still has him fucked up. He collapses, and Dig gets him to the Hero Cave.
Oliver wakes up, and stubbornly decides to go after the Count. Dig tells him he’s not ready and can’t go. Oliver is like, try and stop me, bitch. Dig wisely backs down, but challenges Oliver to shoot the ball out of his hand, and Dig won’t get in his way of leaving. Oliver grabs his bow and arrow and realizes he can’t shoot it. Then he looks at Dig and reminds him that Dig needs to remember that he doesn’t need the arrows. Oh. Em. Gee. It was so sexy! He’s such a boss!
Oliver goes after the Count, and even though he’s off balance and dizzy, he still manages to kick like 7 guys asses, like within one minute. Sooooooo hottttt!!!!! He gets to the Count, and like a boss, flicks a hurling star at him and knocks the gun out of his hand. He beats him up and injects him with Vertigo, telling him it’s time he had a taste of his own medicine. The cops bust in, and Laurel’s annoying ass daddy calls the Vigilante scum for being no better than the criminals he chases. Blah blah. Who cares? Arrow dips out, and leaves the Count overdosing on Vertigo. Ha!!!
Back to Thea. I guess. Oliver and Thea meet up with Laurel so that Thea can accept the plea bargain that Laurel worked out for her. Oliver thanks Laurel for her help and then gets a phone call. He leaves and meets up with Ellie at a coffee shop. She tells him that even though he’s always making up the lamest lies, she feels like she can trust him. She tells him that Walter had been investigating Moira when he disappeared. She gave him the book that Walter found, and tells him that she thinks he died for whatever was in this book. Oliver tries to keep his cool, but I know he is upset. Poor baby. Also, I knew he’d find out about his mother sooner or later! Also again, I knew Ellie would be a perfect fit for Oliver! Team Eliver! Still working on it.
Stayed tuned for my next recap! Til then, I leave you with this!
Enjoy it, drool over it, treasure it.