Arrow: Diggle is Dumb, Oliver is Everything, and Thea is, Well, Thea. i.e. Stupid

This show really makes me happy. I am super obsessed with Stephen Amell. He is crazy hot, and this show always has wonderful half-naked workout scenes. They give me so many feelings. Oh, the feels.      Anyway, the episode starts with a couple of randoms driving one of those trucks that has money in it. I can’t remember what they’re called for the life of me, but they’re driving one, and arguing over the radio. Neither one of them has any taste in music, so I pick no sides. While they are arguing, some dude in a gas mask is just walking towards them without a care in the world. They try to reverse and get out of town, but a car pulls up behind them and blocks them. All these masked dudes come rushing out.   The gas mask guy shoots a smoke bomb or something into the truck through the windshield. The driver and his partner fall out of the truck and are immediately shot. The masked men jump in and steal the money in the back, and take off.

Oliver and Thea are at home talking about how Thea wants a car for 17th birthday, but Oliver is sure she isn’t going to get one. Her mom walks into the room and agrees. The mom and Thea leave together, and Oliver sees a report about the thefts, as there have been several recently. My sexy beast goes down to his Hero Cave (or as Dig calls it, his Arrow Cave) and starts working out, all glistening muscles and tasty deliciousness. Dig comes in and Olliepop tells him who he’s going after next. Dig recognizes the name and is upset. Turns out it’s his commanding officer during his first turn in Afghanistan. Crap. This is going to be a problem obvsies. And yup, it immediately was. Too bad my baby boo is the boss and tells Dig to shut it and accept his decision. BAM!

Aaaaand now there’s a flashback of sadness. Damn it. Now I have to watch my boo in his Scoobydoo Fred version of himself. Le sigh. This flashback is all about Ollie wearing the uniform of the soldier he “killed” (via an accidental tumble off a cliff with the soldier breaking his back and dying from landing on a boulder, and Ollie damn near drowning in a foot of water. Double Le Sigh.) Ollie wanders in the jungle til he finds the base camp of the soldiers, and finds out that his mentor has been taken to the eastern camp, and hitches a ride with another soldier. The soldier seems pretty chatty and friendly. Don’t trust him, but could be I’m too overprotective of my boo. They head off to the jeep, and poor Olliepop has to leave behind his nummy food. Too bad the guy who had him tortured before jumps in the car at the last minute. Eesh.

Arrow goes after Dig’s commanding officer, and has him at arrow point, when fucking Digs shows up behind him and holds him at gun point to stop him. That motherfucker! Arrow being the amazingness that he is, was able to shoot the computer monitor, and make a huge burst of light so that he could get away. Argh! He should have shot that fucking Dig right in his Diggles!

After he bounces, Dig talks to his old commanding officer, and it turns out he set up an interview with him, and after saving his ass is immediately hired.

When he goes back to the Hero Cave, Oliver is pissed. Dig demands a chance to prove he is right about his friend, because it’s the least Oliver owes him. Fuck off, I say. He angered me.

Meanwhile, Thea and her mom are having a girl’s day for Thea’s 18th birthday when her mom gets a call from Martin, aka the badass copycat archer. She has to leave to meet him, but Thea sees the caller ID and is pissed when her mom lies about where she’s going. She follows her mom there, sees them together, and assumes they’re having an affair. They’re not, Martin is demanding she take care of a mutual problem, and Moira is demanding proof of life for Walter. Thea runs to Oliver to tell him what’s up, but he defends their mom. She tells him he doesn’t know her anymore, and she changed since he’s been gone. Oliver confronts his mom, and she lies to his face about seeing Martin. She does however, admit that his father cheated on her repeatedly. But she didn’t want them to remember him that way, and she doesn’t want Thea to know that side of him, so she makes Oliver promise to keep it to himself. He agrees, but he’s clearly suspicious of her.

On a much less interesting and irrelevant note, Tommy and Laurel are still together. Martin calls Tommy and tells him he misses him, and wants to be close. He asks Tommy and Laurel to go to dinner with him, so they can reconnect and he can get to know Laurel. Tommy reluctantly agrees. Can’t help hoping that dinner ends with a double homicide and suicide…Those characters really haven’t grown on me. Yeah. So anyway. Turns out the dinner was just a front. Martin wanted his son to sign some paperwork agreeing to close Tommy’s deceased mother’s clinic. Tommy is shocked, because the clinic was so important to his mom. Martin is dickish, and tells him he was 8 when his mother was murdered, and wouldn’t have a clue what was important to her. Way to get close, asshole. Tommy takes off, and Laurel gets into a verbal sparring match with Martin that leaves her kind of shaken. Um. Yeah. He’s a killer, bitch. Might want to zip it up.

Back to the island flashback, FredOllie is in the car with his capturer, praying he doesn’t get caught. The guy seems suspicious, and tries to trip FredOllie up, but he doesn’t fall for it. He’s not exactly smooth about it, and that worries me.

They get to the other camp and are walking around when suddenly the leader knocks FredOllie out. When he wakes up, he gets a boring lecture on trusting the wrong people. His chatty soldier buddy pulls his mask off and what the what?!?!? It’s his freaking ninja mentor! What a douche! And he totally speaks fucking perfect English. Ooooh, he has done my babyboo so wrong! -_-

Present day Olliepop goes to visit his cute IT girl and asks her to track some info for him. He’s all in her personal bubble in a real professionally friendly way, and I can’t help but wonder how she restrains herself from jumping him. Or at the very least, lose her concentration. Anyway, she agrees to help him, and he offers her a bottle wine. He made up some lame story about the request being for some high stakes scavenger hunt he’s on, with the wine his prize.

Dig meets with his new boss at the diner his sister-in-law/crush works. His boss notices the crush and encourages him to go for it. Meanwhile, another co-worker comes up, and Dig doesn’t trust him. He suspects he’s the real person behind the armored car robberies.

Oliver’s techie chick comes through with the intel he needs. She finds proof that someone in the company is indeed behind the thefts. He gets a sexy, pissed look and tells her that he will take the info to the cops. She’s disappointed that there’s no wine (or possible side benny of nookie).  I would be too, girl. I would be too.

Oliver goes Vigilante style to their next hit and manages to injure one of the men, and stop the robbery. After, he heads to his sistybears birthday party. She seems deliriously happy, which tells me shit will go south immediately. She got her car from her mom. Then some crappy friends give her a birthday present, which is a baggie of pills. Oh Lord. She looks like she is going to go upstairs to get rid of them, when she spots her mom in another huddled moment with Martin. She can’t hear them talking, nor does she see the proof of life photo he shows Moira. She assumes affair again, and confronts her angrily. She says some fucked up shit, including how wished it was her mom who died on that boat, and not her dad. Ouchie. She runs out of the house, pulling her drugs out of her boobs. I can just see a drug-induced drive right into a tree. Crap.

Downstairs, Oliver spots Dig, and goes and tells him about stopping the thieves latest attempt. Dig tells him he was with his buddy when the theft occurred. He’s relieved that he was right, and Oliver admits he was wrong. I don’t know, but something seems wrong. I totally don’t trust that guy, and am positive he’s dirty. Olliepop asks Dig to go to his job and investigate the vans to find out who else was in on the crime. When Dig leaves, Oliver stops him real quick to tell him to be careful, and slips a bug on him. Too bad it was hella obvsies. Thankfully, Dig didn’t feel it and left.

Dig gets to his office and goes to the parking garage. There he finds the van they used and sees blood in the back. Suddenly, one of the thieves comes up behind him with a gun. He tells Dig they knew he was the one who hacked into their system, and that “he” knew he’d be a problem. When Dig questions who he’s talking about, his old commanding officer comes out. I knew it!!!! Ha!

Sorry, not the time to celebrate. Dig is shocked and disappointed. His buddy tells him that Dig is going to help them with their next hit, since the Arrow fucked up their last attempt. Dig is like, “Yeah fucking right.” Til they bring out his sister-in-law/fantasy girl. They threaten to kill her unless Dig helps. Luckily, my boo bear is listening to everything via the bug he planted. He runs to save the day.

The scumbags are in the van with a gun to that chick’s head, and Dig is standing in the middle of the road, wearing a ski mask and using the smoke grenade launcher. The armored truck is coming towards him, but Dig can’t make himself shoot them. He lets the truck keep going,  and the thieves jump out of the car all pissed off. They say they’re going to kill his girl, but Dig reminds them he’s the one with the grenade launcher. He shoots a smoke bomb at them, and they dive for cover, letting the lady go. She hauls ass, his old boss runs after her, and Dig gives chase. One of the thieves is about to snipe Dig when my boo bear shoots the gun right out of his hand. They engage in hand to hand, and my boo teaches him what’s what. Within like, 45 seconds, the dude is incapacitated and knocked the fuck out. Or dead. Whatevs.

Meanwhile, that idiot commanding officer lost Dig’s sis-in-law/dreamlover like a real failure. Dig finds him and points the gun at him but can’t pull the trigger on his former friend. Luckily, Olliepop has no problems there, and shoots him in the heart with an arrow before he can kill Dig.

Dig tells Oliver he should leave, and this dude does NOT hesitate. He’s like “Ok. Skippity doo!” and fucking Electric Slides right out of there. It was kinda cute. He kinda leapt away like a gazelle. Adorbs.

Drugged up Thea was having a good old time, dancing and bopping along while her car swerved all over the damn road and right into a ditch. Good job. LE SIGH.

Oliver is in his Hero Cave when Dig shows up. Dig tells him he didn’t get into trouble at all. Dig is sad that he trusted the wrong person. Ollie tells Dig that his ability to trust in people is part of the reason he asked him to be his partner. That and Dig kinda figured out he was the Vigilante, like,  right away.

Anyway, when Ollie and his mom get the news about Thea they rush to the hospital. Thea is super  belligerent with their mom and tells her to leave. Oliver stays until she is released, but she is promptly arrested in the hallways for driving while under the influence of drugs. When the officer says the name of the drugs, Oliver flips out. Apparently, he recognizes the name and is not happy. Eesh.

There was another irrelevant scene with Laurel and Tommy but, I mean, who cares? So, we’re all in agreement we don’t need to go there, right? Good.

Well, needless to say, I can’t freaking wait til next week’s episode. I’m sure I’ll have lots more sexy workout scenes to look forward to. (Lusty Grin, Pervy Hands Rubbing together…ok that sounds weird.   Don’t know how to describe it. But when villains rub their hands together in glee? Well, that, but with a pervy glint in the eye. So picture that.)

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