So in this episode, Mindy’s cute teenage neighbor comes to her office to ask her for birth control. She’s only like 15 or 16 so Mindy is rightfully cautious. Meanwhile, Danny finds an anonymous sexual harrassment letter in his office. Apparently, Morgan can’t stop staring at Shauna’s bazoombas. Honestly, this seems odd to me because Shauna seems like the kinda chick who takes it as a compliment. But hey, guess not. Danny doesn’t want anything to do with it, but Mindy had to handle some other office mishap and says it’s Danny’s turn to step up. BTW, some nerdy intern was talking to Mindy, and she asked him to show her some of his self defense moves. He is nervous about it, but after a minute shows her. His moves are straight out of a woman’s self defense class, and I can’t help but laugh. Too bad Morgan sees the intern with his hands on Mindy’s neck and goes into fucking Macho Man Randy Savage mode and hollers NO!!!! while running and hurling the intern across the room and into the wall. He completely knocked him the fuck out. OH. MY. GOD. I laughed so freaking hard, I had to rewind it and watch it again, and then run to the bathroom before I peed on my couch. TMI, but it needed to be said so you could understand the level of funny this was to me. Nearly pee on yourself funny.
So anyway, later on Mindy tells her neighbor that she wants to meet her boyfriend before she will give her birth control. She agrees reluctantly, and Mindy goes to her school. When she gets there, she meets her neighbor’s super amazing gay bff. He is too fabulous for words and thinks that Mindy is the greatest thing ever. They also show her slime, which is disgusting, and tell her its the coolest thing ever. Then he leaves to go to the cafe-teria. OMG. I want to adopt this kid.
Ok, so back in the office, Danny calls Morgan and Shauna into the office to talk to them about the complaint. Morgan assumes Danny is talking about some mangy mutt he let stay there after hours. He’s not. Morgan is relieved until he asks if Danny is talking about the other dog he let stay. That dog was bad news. Danny tells him that’s still not what he was talking about, but sidenote, let’s not do that anymore. He tells Morgan about the bazoomba staring, and Morgan’s like CRAP! He can’t help it, but when he sees big, jamba juices he can’t help but stare. And BAM! I was totally right, because Shauna is all, aww thanks. I don’t care. I never filed a complaint. So that’s confusing. What loser files a SH complaint on someone else’s behalf without even bothering to find out if it bothers them? Betsy, that’s who. Her reason is hilarious. She’s jealous because no one ever stares at her portabello mushrooms. She looks so miserable and pathetic, Danny tries to make her feel better by super awkwardly complimenting her. Every slight compliment is twisted into a huge one by Betsy so that by the end, she totally thinks Danny called her hot.
Back in high school, Mindy meets her neighbors cutie boyfriend, and they’re all talking about forever, and blah blah. Mindy meanwhile, is having a hard time focusing because she is struggling to stay seated in the beanie bag. Plus someone hit her with a ball of paper. She quickly grabs it and hurls it across the room. Her faces and snarky comments are amazing at all times. I love her. So. Much. Anyway, she vetos their sex life, and the boyfriend is all angry and harsh and calls Mindy old. Eww.
Meanwhile, Mindy’s neighbor is super pissed. She demands to meet Mindy’s boyfriend since Mindy is sexing him up real good. Mindy agrees. They meet for lunch and Josh is as usual, freaking hilarious. He passes pretty much all of Mindy’s neighbor’s questions until she asks if he’s ready to commit to Mindy forever. He is really not there. Mindy looks pissed, and her bratty ass neighbor smugly leaves them to talk.
Mindy calls her biffle, Gwen, who pep talks some sense into her and tells her that forever is a long time away, and to enjoy her time with Josh. Also, she is going to murder her husband because he has dropped their Christmas tree off their car like 4 times. Hahaha
Mindy goes back to the school and interrupts her neighbor’s volleyball game to tell her that she will give her the birth control. She acknowledges that her neighbor’s bf is totally doable and-then she’s smacked in the head with a volleyball. The girl shouts “Heads up!” like 46 seconds after giving Mindy brain damage, which Mindy immediately calls her out on. Within 6 minutes she’s smacked again, and this time, she calls all the girls in for a huddle. She tells them that first of all, they suck at volleyball, since she’s been hit twice in the few minutes she’s been there. Secondly, she gives them a quick lecture about boys, sex, and love. Oh and herpes. Herpes is forever and it’s super gross and incurable, and it’s not even the worst STD. So think on that, and here’s some condoms. She gives one slutty looking girl two condoms because she looks like trouble. I concur. She is immediately caught by her neighbors’ coach. Oh crap. They put her in school jail, and like cuff her with those zip ties that secures shit in their packages. I would’ve freaked out. Um, I’m not a fucking toy, Principal. I’ve been out of the box for like 30 years, so can you unfuckingzip me please!?
Anywho, Danny comes and bails her out of school jail, and they leave before the security guards come after them. When Mindy gets home, Josh is waiting on the steps for her. He tells her that this relationship is not casual to him. He just hasn’t ever been in a committed relationship, but he wants to leave the possibility of forever open. Mindy is happy, and starts describing their life together. So cute, because he totally plays along. I really love them together. 🙂
See you next time, when I talk about one of my other bfs. Not sure which one yet. I love them all!