So Rick has really lost his mind. Like, he totally Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest. This week on the Walking Dead, Rick sat in a grief stupor for a little bit while Darryl and the others discussed finding formula for the baby aka mama killer. Suddenly Rick lurches up and grabs and axe and goes all Tomb Raider on zombie ass. He’s staggering through the halls like a real crazy badass, axing people in the head, and slicing them to pieces. He also had a full on Jack Nicholson-in-the-Shining kinda twinkle in his eye. Is it just me or is crazy a good look for him? Sexy. Anyway, so he’s clearly on the hunt for Lori’s body, and I prepared myself for full on tears and grief-stricken wails. From me, not him.
Elsewhere in Zombieland, Darryl and what’s-her-name (she’s totally boinking Glen) went on a run to find formula for the baby. They find an abandoned daycare and I immediately pull the covers up to my neck, ready to cry and cringe at the sight of zombie babies slithering all over the floor. Truly disturbing images flit through my brain as the worst approaches. Luckily, there is only a creepy ass possum or whatever that Darryl promptly crossbows and proclaims as dinner. Yum! They find formula, pampers, and lots of goodies. Creepy baby handprints adorn the wall, leaving me and my brother goggling, as some of them were almost adult size. Monster babies? Anywho, I don’t doubt there was a surplus of baby supplies, as that daycare seemed to me to be quite unsuccessful as they apparently only had 2 babies to care for. Or, they kept infants 5 to a crib, of which they only had two.
Moving on, they buried T-Dawg and Carol. But umm…did they not even look for this chick? I’m pretty sure that was T’s body, and her scarf by the door. But no body. They were like, “Oh well! Guess she’s dead too!” And that’s it. If I was her I would be SO pissed. Then again, that would never be me because I would never shave my head. It’s gross.
Back to Rick’s pyscho ass. Glen went to find him, and upon finding Rick panting, and looking like a hot version of a zombie soaked in blood, thought it best to approach him. And get this; he touched him! Ha! Idiot. I saw that coming. And by that, I meant the kung fu grip Rick put him in. No words were necessary after that. Crazy eyes and a quick choke made it clear to Glen that all Rick wanted was to be alone. And crazy. Rick finds the boiler room and tears fill my eyes in anticipation of what is about to happen. Rick, kneeling over his sliced and diced and shot dead wife, keening in misery. Imagine my surprise to see little chunks of Lori on the floor and a blood trail. I once again quickly jump to the wrong conclusion and assume Carl didn’t actually shoot his mom and she is all zombiefied. I maintain that it was a logical conclusion, seeing how Carl usually ruins everything. But alas, nope. Lori wasn’t a zombie. She was in one! That bitch was lunch! There lay a fat, pig of a zombie, his belly distended with Lori goodness, his cheeks full of his last bite. Rick blew his brains out, screaming Lori’s name, I think. Then brought a knife out and looked at the zombies chunky gut, and I thought, Eww. He’s gonna cut his wife out. Surprise! Nope, he just stabbed the crap out of it. Then the phone rang. And he answered it. SO that happened.
Back to Darryl. He’s so damn cute and awesome. He’s really gas station hot, and I like him. So anyway, he has a surprisingly nurturing side, and he picks up the baby, who as any normal girl would, stopped crying. He fed her and cooed at her, and named her Little Asskicker. LOVE!
This is after Carl rattled off the names of the women they knew who died. Morbid much? Geez.
And Darryl placed a pretty flower on Carol’s grave. He totally loves her! I knew it!
And I really can’t stand Andrea’s obliviousness, so I am going to make this short and sweet. Governor has a zombie daughter whose hair he still brushes, and keeps in a closet or something, Michonne is a badass bitch who stole her blade, sliced up some zombies the Governor keeps for recreational sport, got caught, schooled the Governor by ninja-ing the sword right out of his hand and holding it to his throat, and bounced. She tried to convince Andrea it was time to go, but she was all, “It’s pretty, and I’m tired of fighting, and I’m stupid and naïve, and the Governor’s sooooo dreamy!” Ok, I might have paraphrased a bit. But still, she stayed, and Michonne left her dumb ass there. 15 minutes later, watching a UFC Zombie match, Andrea realized she really screwed up. Oh well. Lesson learned!
So yeah, great episode, and no emotional upheaval. Score!
Check out my next post, where I talk about the trials and tribulations and fairytale hijinks in tonight’s Once Upon A Time!